Lets Get Real or Lets Not Play: Transforming the Buyer/Seller Relationship

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We confront and overcome core human fears.

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We become more alert and flexible. Life is more engaging, more enjoyable.


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Getting real means challenging lazy thinking and penetrating facades, games, defenses, fears and illusions. While the book is geared to people involved in business-to-business sales, and tilted towards the complex sale, I learned a lot from it. Highly, highly recommended.

Mahan Khalsa

To quote Mahan: Sales skills are life skills. Please enable JavaScript to view the comments powered by Disqus. Of course you would.

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Khalsa and Illig suggest that a far more impactful way to engage the client is through mutual exploration. The entire first half of their book is dedicated to what mutual exploration means in detail , but suffice it to say that it comes down to using your initial time with a client to talk about them. Not just about you and your offering. The reason being that the initial conversations with a client is not about selling. A big part of the exploration process is that you are coming to a mutual understanding of the problem.


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You exit gracefully. Better to know up front and avoid a lot of extra time theirs and yours.

To want to talk about how great we are because of our unique new feature. Particularly in the early days of the client relationship build, you want to spend as much time talking about the client as possible. And not about yourself. Khalsa and Illig talk about this as Moving off the Solution.

Resist the urge to do so. If your product is sophisticated at all , you could likely spend hours talking about it and never cover everything. True, right?

Use that. Integrate it into the formula above.

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It might look something like this:. I could talk for hours with great enthusiasm — and that may not be what you want. Do you mind if I ask…? In order to keep my comments relevant to your situation, could I ask…? Would it be okay if we started out talking a bit about…? And what do you fill the blank with?

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